These will turn any lockdown frown upside down.
While the unbearable ennui of perpetual lockdown has well and truly set in, we have to be grateful for the internet and its many gifts, especially the gift of connectedness. While the ability to communicate with anyone, anywhere from your bedroom is convenient, another thing is Instagram, and the gift of being able to squander hours of time on that endless scroll – whether that’s a good or bad thing, we’ll let you decide.
To celebrate some of the lit content local grammers are producing, we’ve pulled together the best of the best when it comes to Melbourne IG pages. When talking about the “best” of internet things, you better believe we’ll be throwing in some meme pages, but we’ve also got a couple of useful resource-led accounts to help you explore the city from your home, and keep you in the know throughout lockdown.
As a little warm up to get you in the mood, please enjoy this unerringly good guide to Melbourne, from SuperDoTheGames.
Put Bart on the Door
Once upon a time, somebody, somewhere in Melbourne, thought it would be neat to combine The Simpsons with their insightful commentary on the city’s music scene. Put Bart on the Door marries screen grabs from the culturally iconic Simpsons with an ironic gaze at Melbourne’s cultural momentum. The result is a beloved quasi-meme page which perfectly encapsulates the city’s cliches. Skyrocketing into the cultural consciousness with on-point digs at your typical music venues including The Tote, Old Bar and Yah Yah’s, the page has since been prolific in checking up on all the comings and goings of life in Melbourne.
Melbourne Club Culture Memes
If it’s one thing Melburnians know, it’s the club culture cliche. Another thing Melburnians know is Melburnians. For this reason, the collaborative monolith that is Melbourne Club Culture Memes… just… hits… different. Whether you’re a north, south, east or west-sider, you’ve been there. We’ve all been there. We’ve experienced that complete, encompassing satisfaction of finally reaching the top of the Lounge smokers line. We’ve been on one side of the Peel Street stalemate on a Friday night – one group up at the Grace Darling and the other down at Lazerpig: Me: “Come here, it’s good.” Friend: “Nah, come to the Grace, we got a table.”
While the page has been inactive lately due to what we can only assume is a deep melancholy shrouding anything associated with the word “club”, the page exists as an all-knowing time capsule of the Melbourne-centric cliches we love to hate.
Dumb Bitch Energy
This iconic meme page slings “dumb bitch memes for wine saturated queens”, but let’s be honest, these memes are for the people. By people, we mean Melburnites. With grace, class and ingenuity, these handcrafted memes hit the spot. The page offers functional, creative memes, like a flow chart to help you figure out if you’re at a kick-ons or not, or consistently-apt iso content that’ll have you second guessing the new Rogue Monsteria you just bought as part of your new indoor plant drive.
The content is consistently good, from the pre-iso era, hitting on club and festival culture, through to this latest period of ongoing lockdown. It’s impossibly rare to find a meme page so funny, accurate and creative, let alone one from your very own backyard. What is it that makes our lives such good meme fodder?
Ah, the things people say when they think nobody’s listening. One thing to get straight – in this city, someone’s always listening, even in lockdown. Melbourne Overheard has cornered the delightful niche of exposing the wack stuff people say, in quaint, anonymous, stick figure drawings. You’ve gotta commend them for the effort.
Overheard in Melb
They haven’t posted since 2018, so this page is potentially old news for you. However, if you’re missing the olde days, it’s worth a revisit. Some of these overheard moments are hilarious, and others are useful if you’ve forgotten just how annoying a city full of people can be. Simplicity is best, and the Overheard in Melb page truly pinned down some golden one-liners in its heyday. Another time capsule of what once was, this gram is less a walk down memory lane than a grating crawl through the very worst/best elements of inner-city life you might be trying to forget.
While we may be in lockdown, there’s a whole city to explore from the comfort of your very own Instagram app. Now is a great time to browse and bookmark things to do and places to see in Melbourne, and luckily we know a couple of good accounts for just that. Such as…
An online resource with an app coming soon, Do-Something? seeks to highlight venues, events and special offers from various Melbourne businesses. With a pleasing interface of cute pastel sketches, the account brings you the many highlights on offer around the city, even in iso. If you’re interested in keeping your finger on the pulse, it’s certainly worth a follow.
Check out the Do-Something? website here. They’ve got an app coming out soon so keep your eyes peeled for that.
Good Gnocchi head honcho James Eddy and celebrity chef Jack Shaw bring you Far Out, a visual guide to the best food from Melbourne’s outskirts. While you can’t head across town for a meal for the time being, the page is worth a scroll and a bookmark for the future. James and Jack not only tell you where to go for food, from Springvale to Warrandyte, they tell you which dish should be your prime choice.
For something real dumb…
Shit Brick Fences of Melbourne
There’s nothing more to say.
Keen on another fun read? We’ve ranked the toilets of Melbourne dive bars, clubs and music venues from sketchy to sparkling.
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