Whacky, curious and bizarre were the first three adjectives that came to my head when I entered Electric Brain for my haircut. Having booked ahead, I was guided straight to the armchair and met with unanticipated exhilaration deliberating the coming events. Gloomy picture frames and strange ornaments adorned the walls like a set from the Addams Family and when the barber began her extrapolation of my short back and sides request I knew my cranium was in for an eccentric, almost invigorating fashioning. The finished product impressed me as much as it scared me.
175 St Georges Road, Fitzroy North
Have you ever thought of the activities you wish to fulfil when the barber-customer banter dies down and your artiste takes their time to apply the finishing touches. You could be reading a book, playing your Gameboy or better yet catching Pokémon on your iPhone. Or you could be having a beer. Unfortunately they don’t have any literary masterpieces lying around, or any of Nintendo’s pride and joys, but they do have free Coopers and that’s all that really matters. There’s no bookings so no stress, get ready for the perfect trim.
240 Gertrude Street, Fitzroy and 143 Swan Street, Richmond and 188C Barkly Street, St Kilda
Born into the barber business, owner Fab Sfameni’s a cool cat and he’s going to make you look like one too. Uncle Rocco’s has been described as a “genuine male hang out”, brimming with exuberance and a credentialed personnel certain to fulfil your requests. They’ve welcomed Australian Olympic basketballers Matthew Dellavedova and Patty Mills, as well as professional footballer James Troisi to their residence which says enough. If you’re a skater, they’ve got their own skating bowl as well.
1 Fennell Street, Port Melbourne
Have you ever found yourself aimlessly wielding the shaver across your face in apprehension? Maybe a patch was met with greater aggression than another or maybe you’ve gone against the grain. You probably make a mistake every time you shave because, quite frankly, most of us learnt from rash trial and error. At Men + Co, they can rectify any of your shaving sins and educate you of a better way. They’re elite groomers grooming others to be groomers and are certain to make sure you don’t just walk out with a fresh trim, but a new way of thinking too.
Kelvin Club, Melbourne Place, CBD and 425 Collins Street, CBD and 2-12 St Kilda Road, St Kilda
This would have to be the most rapid and no nonsense haircut I’ve ever had. From the moment I sounded my request, Vali had formulated the necessary approach and the suitable equipment. Ten minutes later the haircut was finished but our conversation had not. Nonetheless, I said to Vali that I’d try to finish the conversation on my next visit. He was a wizard with the scissors, crafting what stands as the most technically sound haircut I’ve had in recent times. An elite pattern-shaver as well.
214 Lygon Street, Brunswick East
Operated by expert barberGus Lundt, Barber Black Sheep’s motto is “old craft, new ways”, eliciting to a forward-thinking approach. They employ the same techniques that have been effective over generations and adapt them to cater for recent modernisations. They’ve got free beers here and sometimes allow you to choose the music. Too much food debris and other stuff caught in your beard? They’re pretty handy with the beard-trimmer too.
149 Sydney Road, Brunswick
Did you know barbers used to perform surgery, fire cupping and extract teeth? It’s a sophisticated profession in this day in age but as far back as the medieval period, barbers used to be far more versatile in a time when doctors weren’t as prolific. Walking into Temple Town, you feel as though you become a little part of that history. Perch up on some old logs as you wait to be summoned and then get comfortable in a rickety, paint-scratched barber’s chair as the wunderkind behind you surmounts the challenge.
285 Johnston Street, Abbotsford
Get whisked back to the 1920s inside Somerset Place’s Captains of Industry. Certainly industrious, the barbershop also serves as a tailor, shoemaker and bistro while providing the perfect setting for when a man wants to look more like a gentleman. Hairdressing maestro Sam Fordyce is your barbering Jedi. With over a decade of experience, Fordyce has knowledge and experience and goes about his work with little fuss. Simply said, Fordyce believes in hospitality with “no bells, no whistles, just knowledge, style and service provided by a professional.”
2 Somerset Place, CBD
Cuts, beans and beats – what more could you want in a barbershop? Shimmy in the chair to tunes spinning from The Bearded Man’s custom DJ setup. But not too much. There’s someone wielding a sharp blade in close proximty to your throat, after all. Industry Beans coffee encapsulate the perfect barber meets café setting where your friends can expediently pass the time as they ready their criticism for your new look.
203 Chapel Street, Prahran