Metalocalypse - December 14, 2011
The end of the year draws ever closer, and that usually means a ballsy list of all the grouse albums what I done rocked out to quite heartily over the course of 2011 'n' that. One reader of the ol' Metaloc has requested that I keep it all-Austrayan this year, so that's what we're gonna do. This is the local shit that busted my speakers but good:
1. The Compass CIRCLES
2. Into the Maelstrom THE MATADOR
3.The Human Connection CHAOS DIVINE
4.Beyond The Black Hills AT DARK
5. Servitude AVERSIONS CROWN
6. Horse Hugger TOTALLY UNICORN
7. Synthetic HEMINA
8.Stormbreak FEAR OF THE DEEP BLUE
9. The Inferno AS SILENCE BREAKS
10. From The Eye Of The Storm INTO THE SEA
Hurmmm…. Lots of top-tier Sydney and Perth action going off this year. Get harder in the pants, Melbourne, come on.
DIME REMEMBERANCE DAY
Did you remember to chuck a shot of Black Tooth for the man? You know you did.
THE GREATEST SIDESHOW OF ALL TIME
Soundwave, yeah, radical. But Mastodon at Billboard with… hooooooly shit, monstrous French metallers Gojira and those punk 'n rolling Nordic award-winners, Kvelertak? That's ridonkulous. That's the greatest sideshow of all time. It'll be going down on Monday February 27. Stop whatever dumb shit you're doing with that lighter and that cone and go get tix from Oztix, Tiketek or Moshtix.
SEPULTURA SINGER NARROWLY AVOIDS DEATH
Burly Sep vocalist Derrick Green recently shared a terrifying tour story that went down while the band were travelling to Leipzig, Germany to play Hellraiser. He posted the above photo to his FB, commenting: "This happened right next to my bed!! Let me tell you this is a hell of a way to wake up in the morning!!! The driver has some parking problems." Obviously Derrick's still here, so whatever it was that made that hole missed him by an inch. It was all fixed up almost perfectly an hour later too, to which Derrick observed: "Like magic it's all fixed!! Now everyone is high from the glue that was used to fix the window!!"
METALLICA UNVEIL THIRD DEATH MAGNETIC B-SIDE
Let's be real for a moment: Metallica owe us. They owe everyone who's ever had to listen to half a track off of Lulu. They know this. That's why they're currently drip-feeding everyone a coupla unreleased b-side goodies that didn't make it onto Death Magnetic back in 2008. The latest is rough-as-guts live showing of Hell And Back. No trace of Lou Reed, either. Good work.
TRIPLE TOBES UNEARTHED
Whores bill themselves as "sweet noisecore/pigfuck." That's good enough for me. Check out the mad track Tell Me Something Scientific on their Soundcloud and try to tell yourself that's not some of the best abrasive music you've heard, ever. Like Unsane and Eyehategood all pushing pins into each other's scrotums. Good night out. The band's Ruiner EP is out on December 20.
STAMP YA HAND
Massive demolition machine Synthetic Breed are saying g'bye to 2011 with a big show at DV8 this Saturday, December 17. Been a gigantic year for this lot, with hard-won success finally arriving in the form of a US deal with Rogue Records America. They'll be smashing riffage alongside Dropbunny and Moth, and methinks you need this inside you. Doors at 9pm.
"The simple truth is - we sell 1/10 of what we used to do some five to ten years back. And we're not the only ones in this situation, unfortunately. And what's the cause for this? You already know what it is - illegal downloading. The majority of people simply do not give a fuck about buying actual albums anymore, meaning the bands sell less, the labels don't get their invested money back and ultimately this leads to said labels not being able to take chances since they know they'll lose money. So, will there be another TPH album in actual physical format? As it looks, I don't think so. After all these years that we have been putting out albums I can safely say that I have had it with chasing labels and proving we're worth a deal." That's proggy Swedish death metallers The Project Hate, and it's something to think about very hard indeed. What they're saying is entirely correct, because the demands of commerce never lie: You want a world defined by dude-bro mosh bands and rad haircuts? No, you don't. Buy albums.
The BEST album of the year. THE BEST. What is it?! GO
What the? You can't quantify something as inherently subjective as music into a simple, all-encompassing gold medal like that. But if I had to I would probably say Europe 's The Final Countdown.