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Toby McCasker Joined: 9th December 2010
Last seen: 29th January 2012

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Metalocalypse

RAWR!


Last week was an important week, because Taylor Momsen is finally legal. Hooray! Great girl that she is, she marked the occasion by flashing her pert post-adolescent rack at an appreciate Download Festival crowd over the weekend. Electrical tape X's or no, you can sort of make out the nipples there so it totally counts. Yes. Now all we need is for her to embrace the fact that having a sordid sesh in a coke-fuelled delirium with an untrustworthy boyfriend and his shaky iPhone camera is now legit in the eyes of the law. Emma Watson let us down when her time came, Taylor. It's all up to you.

R.I.P. KIERAN O'REILLY


After a two-year battle with bowel cancer, Catwitch vocalist and founding member Kieran O'Reilly passed away peacefully last Wednesday. His funeral was just this morning at Springvale's Boyd Chapel. If you couldn't make it, Kieran had this thing about paper cranes, and wanted to make 1,000 of them, just because they're cool. He made it to 849. I hope some folk got their origami on for the funeral, but it's not too late if you want to fold the man's memory a paper bird. Here's how:http://monkey.org/~aidan/origami/crane. Emailnelliscarlet@gmail.com for deets on where to send your Kieran Cranes. (Condolences and cranes from Beat - Miss Ed.)


DIR EN GREY STREAM ENTIRE NEW ALBUM


MySpazz might be dead, but this week it's very much alive with the sound of Dir En Grey's entire new record, Dum Spiro Spero. The lunatic Japanese six-piece won me over big time with 2008's Uroboros, and if you dug that insanity - which was easily their finest hour thus far - you'll most certainly feel a curious stirring against your pant leg when you boot this gear up.

 

MORE DELICIOUS TAYLOR


Ms. Momsen breaks out some more conventional attire for this random gig in the darkness of somewhere. Just kidding, she's dressed like a whore of Satan. See, it even says so on her heretical crop-top thing there. Bless. Or not.

 

ALBUM COVER WHAT MADE ME LAFF

 

Its middle-aged divorcee dominatrix vibe made me giggle so heartily I can't even remember what the point of this was. Oh yeah, it's some re-issue of Bitch's Be My Slave that came out yesterday or something. Frontwoman Betsy Bitch is a "tough-as-nails, stone cold fox," apparently. Chortle.

 

CIPHER DRUMMER FOUND DEAD

 

Local Indonesian fisherman stumbled over the corpse of 32-year old Cipher drummer Daniel Bobis last Thursday , who had vanished after wiping out on a 10-foot swell in West Lampung, Sumatra. Reports indicate that his leash broke as he collided with another surfer after booting from his board.

 

BLOTTED SCIENCE ARE BACK

 

Argh! I love me some Blotted Science. It's that super-tech instrumental power trio that's got Cannibal Corpse bassistAlex Webster faffing off a lot in it, and that's great. After four years in the wilderness they've got a new EP on the way entitled The Animation of Entomology, and it'll implode your fragile concept of reality with ease. YouTube 'Blotted Science - The Animation of Entomology EP teaser' and soak in that upcoming sickness.

 

VOYAGER SIGNS WITH SENSORY

 

Aussies are going great guns in the States now, what with Brisbane alt-rockers Dead Letter Circus only recently inking a sweet deal with the legendary US label, Sumerian Records. Perth's own Voyager are up next on the destiny block, and have been snapped up by New Jersey-based imprint, Sensory Records. They'll be unleashing the band's fourth LP, The Meaning of I, on an unsuspecting American public on Tuesday October 11.

 

GET A DISC UP YA

 

Catwitch - Burn [2007|Auto-Production]

 

Catwitch were always a live band, which is why I'll pick this latter-day EP every time. Espy-bred live cuts of The Breed, Moonbeam and The Piper capture the band in their natural habitat excellently, and the video for Burn is full of busty vampiric hotties feasting on the soul of an average man. Win.

 

FEEDBACK

Do you agree with that guy on yotube who reckons that metal elitism is ruining the whole genre?? He reckons there can't be an underground with stuff like facebook around.

  • Don

 

You must mean this iAMVyt bro. I don't think a few precious dickheads are going to ruin anything, at least not for me. Know why? Because I don't give two sun-cracked shits what someone else thinks about my tuneage of choice. Neither should you, because caring about anything except volatile intercourse and ale, as we all know, is not particularly metal anyway. If anything, the digital age has pushed underground music even further below in favour of the latest metal club haircut band's million tech-savvy teenage fan club. Internet or no, I've still gotta dig for the good stuff, same as always. That's not to say the fact it's obscure validates it in any kind of way, but hey. There you go. If that kind of shit matters to anyone, they can smarm at all their sad metal dork friends over how few fans their new fave sludgecore band has. Same as always.

~tobes