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Toby McCasker's picture
Toby McCasker Joined: 9th December 2010
Last seen: 29th January 2012

Metalocalypse

Toby McCasker's picture
Toby McCasker Joined: 9th December 2010
Last seen: 29th January 2012

RAWR!


So far, 2011 has been the best year for metal since 2001 saw classic releases all coming from Converge, Isis and Opeth (Blackwater Park, fark yers!). Shee-hit, even ’04 was good times with the Dillinger Escape Plan’s Miss Machine and Mastodon’s monstrous Leviathan. I can’t remember ever being so bowled over by class-A heaviosity so early in the piece, though. Blut Aus Nord’s 777- Sect(s) is titanic avant-garde black metal; Septic Flesh have utterly outdone every other pack of  amateurs toying with an orchestra via The Great Mass; Born Of Osiris single-handedly made tech-death cool again with The Discovery; Of Legends shocked the galaxy by producing the flawless bludgeon of Stranded after a lifetime of electronic soul music (believe it). Then there’s this little band called Cave In who just came back after ten years of below-average shite with an album that’s probably gonna take the gold medal on many an end-of-year Top 10 list. Say hey to White Silence, metal’s ultimate comeback album. Hot damn, arse.

~tobes

 

 

PERIPHERY? HERE? IN AUSTRAYA?!

That’s ludicrous – but also factual. Massive djent (what, you haven’t googled it yet?) originators Periphery are heading this way for but three shows in three major cities: Brissy, Sydders, and, of course, Melbo. Sucked in, rest of the country! Bulb and the boys will be laying down the tech at The Northcote Social Club (I don’t get this; surely they should be somewhere bigger like The Corner?) on Sunday, July 31. Whoa, that’s close – best get onto northcotesocialclub.com even though they don’t have a price on these tix up yet. Bonus, like-minded Brits Tesseract are coming with them, with ‘special guests’ to be announced. Better be Circles. No one else would make much fucking sense, really.

 

KORN RECORDING SONG FOR SILENT HILL

There are two things about this news that really work their way deep inside my arse until the sensation becomes noticeably irritating: 1) I’m a bit of a gamer, and I love Silent Hill to eerie little J-horror bits, and 2) I’m bit of a music-lover, and I hate Korn with a passion so fervent it often includes hoisting a pitchfork aloft whenever proof of their continued existence manifests itself. Apparently, Konami have tapped Jonathan Davis and his douchey mates to record a theme song for the upcoming Silent Hill: Downpour (which is going to rock, and be so much better than Homecoming). Please, sign this petition: petitiononline.com/Kornami.

 

ISIS LIVE

I often hear fans bemoaning it, but I reckon Isis called it quits at the right time – maybe even a bit late, actually. We probably could have done without the ignorable Wavering Radiant, and even parts of In The Absence Of Truth were starting to show a few signs of wear ‘n’ tear. However, they’re busy solidifying their mostly-glorious legacy with a series of live albums, the second of which – ISIS Live II, taped in Stockholm, Sweden in ’03 – is currently streaming for free over at metalsucks.net.

 

PHIL VARONE DOES PORN NOW

Former Saigon Kick and Skid Row drummer Phil Varone is now a porn star. philvaronessecretsexstash.com is where it’s at, the dealio being that these are all candid vids of the “thousands of women” Phil ‘Reckon He’s Got Herpes?’ Varone has allegedly bedded in his time on the road. It’s marginally easier to enjoy Phil rutting away there if you believe this guff, not that I’ve had a look. Okay so I have. You will too, because you’re hopelessly curious and all of a sudden you could probably use a wank (or a shlick, for the ladies out there). Garn then, off you go.

 

R.I.P. SETH PUTNAM

Larrikin Anal Cunt front-guy Seth Putnam abruptly suffered a massive heart attack and passed away last Saturday. The guy was only 43, and the circumstances are pretty vague. He’d attempted suicide in 2004 with two months-worth of sleeping pills and gotten away with a coma instead of outright death, but the writing was sort of on the wall at the point: Seth’d started to feel suicidal, and I can’t help but wonder what frame of mind he’d been in over the succeeding five years. Great band, great guy. Will miss.

 

GET A DISC UP YA

Anal Cunt Everyone Should Be Killed  [1994|Earache]

Offensive by name, offensive by nature, you don’t often get bands with the kind of balls AxCx had and Seth Putnam was its puppet-master of hysterical bad taste. As much as I agree with the title of this buzzsaw debut, I find the hour-long scatty grind at its core even more agreeable. "I'm Not Allowed to Like A.C. Any More Since They Signed to Earache" is but one finest moment on an album of finest moments.

 

FEEDBACK (as usual, as they appear in the inbox)

Sorry man. Fretless bass is totally gay.

~tobes

 

After a week of looking into it, I must renege on the assertion that the fretless bass is 100% lamosexual. It’s more pansexual, you know, able to adapt on the fly so it’s choice of weekend dates are impressive indeed. Witness, if you will, the power of Cynic. Great slidey stuff on Traced In Air. Also, Jeff Ament. How did we miss Pearl Jam? Probably ‘cos they’re not metal, despite also being awesome. Vitalogy is the nuts. Mwaaaah mwaaah mwaaaaaa

~tobes

The end of the world through song, every week by Toby McCasker, email the.metalocalypse@gmail.com www.myspace.com/metal_up_ya_mum