h

Metalocalypse

RAWR!


Hey guys, can't wait to get myself to Soundwave Rev- oh. Too soon? Nah. The promoters kinda deserve a bit of flack, really, if only for the fact that nobody has told anyone a fucking thing about why it was really cancelled. An honest explanation would've done wonders for their PR, not to mention the sanctity of their Facebook wall. This stuff about Limp Bizkit refusing to play and Van Halen dropping out is probably true, but calling it quits on an entire festival because of that? Massive horseshit. Most of us forked out before we even knew about the Bizkit's possible involvement, and who gives a queef about Van Halen? Most likely the festival just wasn't shifting enough tickets and these bands bailed 'cos, well, people like to earn fucking money for their work and Australia's a pricey adventure for bro's in the US.

 

~tobes

 

LIFE AFTER NEVERMORE: JEFF LOOMIS

 

After leaving Nevermore alongside (now former) drummer Van Williams, stellar guitarist Jeff Loomis ain't wasting no time - he's already in the studio preparing to bash out his next solo record. This one's gonna be a whole lot different toZero Order Phase, though. In addition to vocalist Christine Rhodes (who sang backing on Nevermore'sDreaming Neon Black), he's got some heavy duty talent lined up to lay it down for him in the form of Soilwork skinsman Dirk Verbeuren (oh hell yes) and, oddly, YouTube bass prodigy Shane Lentz. "Up until about two weeks ago, I was planning on doing the bass parts myself but then saw this amazing bass player on YouTube and said to myself, 'I need to have him on the record.' I got in touch and was thrilled to find out he was into it."

 

LUDICRA CALL IT QUITS

 

While fans caught wind of the San Franciscan black metallers split a few days ago, Ludicra have finally come out and made it official: "The door is officially closed on Ludicra. It was a great trip, but all things have their end. Alternative Tentacles was an early supporter of Ludicra, and we appreciate their faith and their help to achieve what we could with out little rock band. Thanks."

 

Speaking of, alternativetentacles.com are flogging some of Ludicra's back catalogue for a pittance to see them off. If you've never heard Fex Urbis, Lex Orbis, do yourself a gigantic sexy favour.

 

NO CENTURY ON SPOTIFY

 

It's yet to reach Australia yet, but word on my Twitter from the Americanos is this new Spotify thing rocks. The Swedish-made streaming music service gives up instant subscription-based access to just about every bit of music under the sun, and really, it had to happen - the humble record label is more humble than ever, and artists need to get paid. Century Media, however, don't agree. They've refused to be a part of the initiative, convinced their business model is still sound and unwilling to commit themselves to an endeavour that tampers with their profit stream in order to modernise. That means no Devin Townsend on your Spotify when it finally reaches Aus in a million years. Bum.

 

HAUNTED SHORES POST TRACK

 

If you've been hanging out for any sign of Misha Mansoor's Haunted Shores project - and, really, if you're a Periphery fan, you've been prolapsing for this thing in anticipation - then get onto YouTube right now and tap in 'Haunted Shores - Immaterial.' Bam. The first track to emerge from the final product (due out at the end of the year), the dealio is thus: Misha andMark Holcomb put the music together, then chuck a different vocalist on each track. Eliot Coleman fromSky Eats Airplane is all over this one, but personally I can't wait to hear what Jesse Leach and TesseracT's Dan Tompkins come up with for their spotlights. Hot danghole.

 

GOD DETHRONED REUNITE… SORT OF

 

The Euro-death Dutchmen are back together! Well, they've signed on to play Florida's 70,000 Tons Of Metal festival next year, making the surprise announcement earlier in the week. Such an underrated band. Come on, bro's. Get it happening again permanently and give us another Passiondale.

 

GET A DISC UP YA

 

God Dethroned - Passiondale [2009|Metal Blade]

 

Neither as melodic as In Flames or as musical as Arch Enemy, the Netherlands' best blackened death unit instead goes straight for the main veins with the kind of dynamic battery common to fellow Dutch guys Callenish Circle and Textures. Except this is way beer-ootal. Get, get.

 

FEEDBACK

 

Hey Tobes, why do you hate Disturbed so much? I just listened to 10000 fists after a long break from em and reckon they sound alright. Whats your problem man? Are Machine Head still gonna knock our heads off this year?

 

- Some cunt from the pub.

 

That kinda muscular American arena shit makes my balls wrinkle. Let me guess: they got you with 'The Sickness,' and you grew up loving that OOH-WA-AH-AH-AH bit in 'Down with the Sickness.' No shame, no shame, that feels good, man. I reckon that one song is the reason people still give a crap, but I missed that crucial indoctrination window (too busy loving on Sevendust around that time). As for Machine Head, have you *heard* what they're cooking up for this new record of theirs? It's no Blackening, of course, but then, there's no topping that action. Rob Flynn and other guys are rolling in class-A riffage. Live, this will crouch over your mouth and eject the remnants of last night's parma up ya, no question.

 

~tobes