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Metalocalypse

 

RAWR!

 

Not a day goes by where I don’t wonder whether or not fretless bass is the lamest instrument of all time. I mean, there are a fair few instances ofburnin’ fretless work in metal: Control Denied’s The Fragile Art Of Existence, Intronaut’s Prehistoricisms, Obscura’s Cosmogenesis, and anything that Sadus have ever done with Steve DiGorgio (who's been championing the beast’s cause in metal since the ‘80s). Thing is, it never sounds that good to my ears, y’know? It’s honky and farty and just not particularly cool to listen to. Anyone got some decent examples of de-fretted metal low-end? Early Mudvayne doesn’t count. He was just piling on the compression.

 

 

CHAOS DIVINE ON THE ROAD

 

Haven’t heard the latest from epic Perth prog-metallers Chaos Divine, The Human Connection? Then you’re a massive idiot. Seriously, you are. I can’t believe you can even read this, you drooling mongaloid. Go and get this album and spin the cockeye off of it; it’s awesome. Better still, go and see Chaos Divine crank it out live when they roll through Melbourne for a show at The Evelyn Hotel on Friday June 24with similarly epic local boys Circles, who are launching their own brilliant effort that night, The Compass. That is going to be a big, big night of the best Aussie metal’s got to offer. Get down.

 

 

ANTHRAX ANNOUNCE ALBUM RELEASE… FOR REAL, SERIOUS

 

What a drastic saga it’s been. Anthrax seem to have been trying put out their next disc, Worship Music, for years now, recording and subsequently re-recording vocal lines as their situation changed from John Bush to Joey Belladonna. Well, it’s official (really, it is, God, please let it be official): Worship Music is coming out on September 12, the band’s first record to boast all-new tunes since 2003’s We’ve Come For You All (and the first to feature Bush on vox since 1990’s Persistence Of Time!).

 

 

FORBIDDEN TO COME TO AUSTRALIA

 

US thrash patrol Forbidden are heading this way for a modest Australian tour – and it is modest, the list of venues they’re playing at can be kinda… small – but if you’re into it, you can catch ‘em at the not-small Corner Hotel as part of the High Voltage Festival on August 6. Check into cornerhotel.com for tickets and pricing (a mere $30 at last count).

 

 

EPIC KLONE

 

I didn’t rate Klone’s last album All Seeing Eye too heavily, but they’ve won me over today by coming up with a 17-minute epic of grunting French prog that tickles my pink bits an even brighter shade of pink. The Eye Of Needle is available in two parts on YouTube, or you can download this girthy sucker over at kloneband.net. Noice; but a total time-vortex. Hope you’re stoned.

 

 

ANTHRAX SPIN-OFF BAND

 

In other Anthrax-related news, guitarist Rob Caggiano – who has also moonlighted in ‘supergroup’ The Damned Things as of late, the damnable whore – has teamed up with Dani Filth, King Ov Hell, and John Tempesta to start a new project called Temple Of The Black Moon. What the… they’ve since described their sound as "a cauldron bubbling over with the unsavoury flavours of Tool and Celtic Frost, and seasoned with the likes of Immortal and At The Gates."

 

 

NEW SUICIDE SILENCE RECORD IS ACTUALLY GOOD

 

I know, I can’t believe it either. Hot tip: Suicide Silence have learnt how to groove hard on their upcoming record, The Black Crown (due out on July 18). Those who’re thinking of passing on it ‘cos it’ll just be breakdown city should back up, ‘cos I’m totally digging it and I usually hate this shit. Make sure you depress ‘skip, skip now’ when it hits Witness The Addiction, though. Jonathan Davis makes a cameo and it’s really quite awful.

 

 

BEYOND CREATION’S CORRUPTION

 

Montreal-based tech-deathers Beyond Creation have loaded up all tracks from their next album The Aura onto their YouTube page at youtube.com/user/BeyondCreationMetal. If you dig on widdly-diddly, you’re gonna dig yourself the biggest, bestest hole ever when you hit that link.

 

 

GNARLY OPETH ARTWORK

 

Soooo… how ‘bout that Opeth artwork for their next record, Heritage? Very… different. In fact, apparently it’s pissing a lot of fans off. I don’t know; I reckon you should embrace it. Personally I think it signals a slight shift in direction, because it is distinctly psychedelic in its imagery, ala King Crimson, Hawkwind et al. Hints of that kind of stuff were definitely there on Watershed, so don’t be surprised if there ends up being mellotron all up in this prog-metal grill. Porcupine Tree man Steven Wilson is on board for the engineering process alongside Jens Borgen, so expect weirdness. Surprisingly, keyboardist Per Wiberg won’t be along for this ride, having been ‘mutually dismissed’ from the band. This thing’s out September 20.

 

 

TRIPLE TOBES UNEARTHED

 

Engineer are awesome, and they’re a part of Red Chord frontman Guy Kozowyk’s new artist distro ‘n development setup with Good Fight Entertainment – which means you can head over to circuitbreakermedia.com/audio/Engineer – Bruised Blue Collar.mp3 to hook into their crusty-riffic sludge right now. Great rhythm section intro on this one; it’s dirty as all shite.

 

 

FEEDBACK

 

I feel a bad moon a-risin’!!

 

- Haz

 

 Is this the part where you show me dat ass ?