Five Weirdest Dreams

Playschool x Uncle Sam - There are several dreams I had when I was a kid that I remember really well. The soft toys from Playschool used to often turn up in my nightmares for some reason – I remember one where I was flying in a helicopter with Big Ted and Little Ted. There was very little action in the dream but there was this menacing, warlike feeling the whole time – I wonder if I'd accidentally caught some scenes from Apocalypse Now on TV beforehand.
EQ Hospital - Last year I started working in a mixing and mastering studio, which often involves pretty late hours. When I first started the job my brain would always continue mixing whatever song I'd been working on in my dreams. Lately this has taken more of a creative turn – recently I dreamed that one of my friends was in a coma and I had to save her by programming the right EQ curve into one of my mixing plugins.
Nightmares - When I was around 11 or 12 one of my close relatives became very sick and I didn't totally understand what was going on, but the scared vibe from my family filtered down to me and manifested itself in me having heaps of pretty dark nightmares. I remember in one of them I was locked in a dark room and there was this larger-than-life stick insect creature with heaps of limbs. It never touched me but it jumped around and made clicking sounds. 
Sexy Pizza - I had a fairly sheltered Christian upbringing and as a result my brain really sucks at having proper sexy dreams. Whenever an attractive person so much as brushes against me in a dream they inevitably turn into a slice of pizza, or I turn into a slice of pizza, or some other ridiculous body transformation like that happens. The pizza thing I think was actually one specific dream where I had an afternoon nap without eating lunch, but I would love to know how to uninstall net nanny from my dreams.
Sun Road - There's only one dream that I remember that has recurred during my life. It started out feeling like a nightmare but it's become more familiar over time. It starts out at the beach – I've come to the end of a relaxing beach day and I'm ready to go home. I look for the right path through the sand dunes back to where I'm staying and I think I've found it, but suddenly it changes to a steep, winding orangey-red-gold road (it looks like if you tried to make fire out of plasticine) leading up to a huge menacing sun which is the same colour and texture. There's nothing holding up the road – it's just hovering in the sky. I start to walk up the road and then the dream ends.
Photo by Isabella Connelle

Aphir will perform at Grace Darling with Shiver Canyon on Thursday March 23.