Desecrator interviews Krackerjak:
Tell me, KrackerJak, are you in any way responsible for the recently discovered unexplained holes in the ground in Siberia?
It’s the only way to get to the Earth’s gooey centre. I apologise for nothing.
I hear you have a move called the Britney Spear. Is it comparable to Britney pre or post head shave meltdown?
Oh it’s totally pre-meltdown. I started doing it about 15 years ago. It’s one of those things where the pop culture reference outlive the pop culture, like if you guys started playing Debbie Gibson guitars.
They say you once wrestled the over-opinionated music industry figure Dicko. Hypothetically, how do you think you would go against some metal warriors like say Manowar?
Well, based on their album covers, they’re all in fantastic shape but frankly, those fuckers have it coming for being rude about my KrackerJak clothes.
We’ve been told you are a hot contender for the championship. Can you take it all the way to the top?
I have every intention of beating the champion Pitbull to death with his own title belt, bleeding everywhere myself in the process and then dousing my open war wounds with scotch and enjoying your set as people come and ask me irritating questions like “Is the blood real?” while poking a massive gash in my face with their grubby finger.
Krackerjak interviews Desecrator:
Did filming the video for Balancing on a Blade get the urge to kill your bandmates out of your system or, now that you’ve got a taste for it, do you want to murder them all even more?
Well those jammy-handed, chip-chewing beer spoilers deserved everything they got mate! Put yourself in my shoes, it’s not just a Holden, it’s a bloody Kingswood! An icon of Australian motoring history! They even had the nerve to leave their blood and brain grime on it.
Some narrow-minded conservative folks characterise metal bands as a bunch of ugly, savage, monstrous, Neanderthal Satanists. How do you respond to this stereotyping and exactly how would you murder these people and defile their corpses for your next album cover?
We have a hashtag for this. I believe they are a platform young people use to group themes and ideas together for later search refinements, it’s #howgoodisheavymetal. Use it.
If you use all the bullets on your belt to shoot people, will your pants fall down?
This question is based on two unfortunate presumptions. One: that I lack in bullet reserves – not a mistake made twice pal! And two: that we in Desecrator wear loose fitting ‘pants’ as you call them. I find both accusations misleading and mildly off-putting, but your ratio of crazy eye to hair makes me respect and slightly fear you enough to let it slide.
WRESTLEROCK is on at the Corner Hotel on Saturday August 16.
