Shock Father's Day Prize Pack
Your dad has had to put up with a hell of a lot of shit from you in your lifetime so you better goddamn treat him right this Father's Day. To help the cause, our good pals over at Shock have gave us a few prize packs including DVDS from Pink Floyd, Duran Duran, Ozzy Osbourne, Peter Gabriel and a heap more. Sweet. For your chance to win, tell us your very best Dad joke.
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Comments
"The circumcision place on bell street is having a sale, 50% off".
.
Anything that ends with 'that's what the actress said to the bishop'
My father in law uses it all the time, still funny after 13yrs!
Have you heard the joke about my cock?
Don't worry, it's too long
What do you eat when you trip over a stair?
STUMBLE pie!
*groans*
....That's what she said!
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Having a 6-inch nailed hammered through your testicles!
From the man himself supposedly the ultimate dad joke: "pull my finger"
Whilst driving past the cemetery:
"Look! It's the dead centre of town." and
"That place is so popular people are dying to get in there!"
I went to the zoo the other day... there was only one dog in it.
It was a SHIT - ZU.
If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's Day, what do single guys have?
PALM SUNDAY!
My father always put his eye on my hand and said I've got my eye on you.
This one is the current favourite.
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
Of course, the kids are eager to know what the meat is. They ask their dad for the clue.
“Well,” he says, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screams, “Don’t eat it! It’s a fucking asshole.”
This one always has me in stitches!
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday."A spa would be nice", she replied. "Ok", I said, jabbing her in the nose three times, before flooring her with a cheeky right hook.