Jay & Silent Bob Get Old
Everyone's favourite hetero life partners are back with a brand new DVD, Jay and Silent Bob Get Old, which follows the pair's live comedic endeavours around London, Manchester and Edinburgh. We were first introduced to the weed-happy duo in Clerks nearly 20 years ago, and since then they’ve become pop-cultural stoner icons. In celebration of Jason 'Jay' Mewes and Kevin 'Silent Bob' Smith's new live DVD we have a few copies to give away. So, let the quoting begin...
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Comments
That guy's being awfully forward with that donkey
"........."
- Silent Bob
I am the master of the C.L.I.T.
No Ticket
In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, mother mother fuck mother mother fuck fuck mother fuck mother fuck noise noise noise. 1,2,1,2,3,4, noise noise noise. Smoking weed, smoking whizz, doing coke, drinking beers, drinking beers, beers, beers, rollin fatties smokin blunts. Who smokes the blunts? We smoke the blunts!
Tickets?.. Since when did they start charging for the bus?. Didn't we used to ride that shit every morning for free?
Boo boo kitty fuck
Jay: I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck
[referring to Silent Bob]
Jay: , none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.
JAY: Yeah. Silent Bob, your a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys, make like a circus seal.... Ewww, you fucking faggot, I hate guys. I LOVE WOMEN!
Yo baby, you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
Snoochie Boochies!
Snoochie Boochies!
Wa sup sluts? Damn Silent Bob! You one rude motherfucker!
But you're cute as hell.
Holy shit fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh shit, it understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey.
Jay: I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah!
Randal Graves: People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."
He speaks some English, but he cannot speak it good like we do. (Jay)
"FLY FATMAN FLY!"
"Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit. The mother fucker's like MacGyver. No, the mother fucker's better than MacGyver." -Mallrats
"Silent Bob here's an electrical genius. He won the science fair in eighth grade by turning his mom's vibrator into a CD player using some chicken wire and shit. The mother fucker's like MacGyver. No, the mother fucker's better than MacGyver." -Mallrats
"Holy sh*t f*ck, is that monkey waving at us?" - Jay.
"Say, would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel ?"
I feel good today, Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, we're gonna get some pussy, and I'm gonna fuck this bitch, I'll fuck this bitch, I'll fuck ANYTHING THAT MOVES!
[to a man passing by on a bicycle just off screen]
Yo, what the fuck you lookin' at? I'll kick your fuckin' ass! Shit yeah.Doesn't that mother fucker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fuckin' tonight, we're gonna rip off this fucker's head, and tear out his fuckin' soul. Remind me if he tries to buy something, I'm gonna shit in the motherfucker's bag.
[to two women in a passing car just off screen]
Hey, what's up babes? What's up, sluts?
Jay "It's time we wrote something back, type this shit down. ALL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GOING TO PAY! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL LICKERS! WE'RE GOING TO FUCK YOUR MOTHERS WHILE YOU WATCH AND CRY LIKE LITTLE WINEY BITHCES. ONCE WE GET TO HOLLYWOOD AND FIND THOSE MIRAMAX FUCKS WHOSE MAKING THE MOVIE, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THEM EAT OUR SHIT, THEN SHIT OUT OUR SHIT AND THEN EAT THEIR SHIT THATS MADE UP OF OUR SHIT THAT WE MADE THEM EAT. AND THEN ALL YOU KOTHERFUCKS ARE NEXT! LOVE, JAY AND SILENT BOB. from Jay and Silent Bob strike back.