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We're calling bullshit on that $5 spoonful of Nutella everyone's losing their shit over

I can feel the outrage. The home-owning Baby Boomers are frothing at the mouth, a cartoon-like steam of anger bursting forth from their ears and burning a hole in their copy of The Herald Sun. 

I can feel the outrage. "Those gentrifying, millennial hipsters are at it again," they proclaim. "If only they stopped spending their minimum wage pay packets on bullshit like this, the problems of the world would be solved. The economy would prosper. The housing crisis would be no more. And it's all because these arts-degree-wielding, avocado-latte-sipping, bludgers are going around pulling crap like this." 

In case you've missed it, the internet is currently losing their collective shit over the purported 'Melbourne pop-up' slinging spoonfuls of Nutella for $5. 

But here's the thing. There's probably not a cafe doing this. In all likelihood, this is at best a hamfisted PR attempt and at worst - a ploy from large media companies that should know better, exchanging manufactured outrage for clicks. Honestly, it would have been easy for us to do the same. But fuck that. Melbourne's better than that. We're smarter than that. You deserve better than that. 

The original post originates from a Facebook page called Melbourne Cool, which cites the blatantly ridiculous treat as being sold at a "pop-up store at a secret Melbourne location" called Spoonful of Sugar. Sure, those things tick the boxes for all the Melbourne tropes under the sun - but Spoonful of Sugar itself has little to no internet presence at all.  

What's more, a quick look through Melbourne Cool's Facebook page will let you know they've pulled this shit before - expertly trolling the internet with explicitly 'Melbourne' things that are surely too good - and far too satirical - to be true. 

There's "renowned designer Benson Smith's" avant-garde hoodie. 

 

There's this deconstructed organic gem, which I'm pretty sure was the exact same dish I used to serve up to my pet rabbit. 

 

And of course, the Almond Croissant Almond Milk Matcha latte. 

 

Maybe I'm totally wrong. Maybe there is some Melbourne cafe slinging $5 Nutella spoonfuls to people with less sense than cents. But in the context of all these other posts, it just doesn't seem that likely. Some pretty bizarre shit goes down in Melbourne, but surely we haven't gone this far. 

Surely we haven't completely cooked it. We live on the precipice of cooked ideas. Ideas so cooked, they just might work. But at the end of the day, this just feels like someone taking the piss, and doing a very good job of it too.