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Beat's guide to Melbourne's best burgers

Here stands the fabled hot meat sandwich in all its perfectly dripping, hangover-curing glory. From handpicked ingredients crafted to perfection down to the amazingly ugly – we've collected some of the greatest burgers that Melbourne has to offer. Despite its handheld design, the burger is one of the most napkin inducing meals on the planet. If you aren't either hungry, disgusted or a little of both at the end of this, you might not be human. Close your arteries and start scrolling through the guilt and mess. Oh, and one last thing: always make it a double. Always.

L.A. Burgers
 
L.A. Burgers brings that classic American burger taste and bustling street vibe to Melbourne and really, who needs a holiday when you can saunter down the street and grab a burger that’ll take your taste buds far, far away. Try the Hollywood with bacon, L.A. Burgers' signature take on the classic American cheeseburger complete with ketchup, mayo, mustard and pickles. If you're extra peckish, the Sunset Boulevard serves as a double patty version of the Hollywood.
 
2/166 Toorak Road, South Yarra
 
The B.East
 
The B.East are fans of concocting weird and wacky burgers, proving that they can jam just about anything in between two buns and still make customers drool all over themselves. Plus, they cater for gluten free folk and vegans alike, meaning you can take all your fussy and gluten sensitive friends out to dinner without it turning into chaos. Give their Holy Cheezus burger a whirl, stacked with a beef patty, double jack cheddar, bacon, a mac 'n' cheese croquette and aioli.
 
80 Lygon Street, Brunswick East
 
Changz Canteen
 
Changz Canteen are serious about their burgers, so serious that they ensure every ingredient to grace their buns is worthy. Everything is made in house, including the sauces, the pickles, even the bacon. The top contender on the menu is the mushroom & truffle burger, complete with double beef and cheese, enoki fries, mushroom ketchup, truffle and roast garlic aioli, all topped with freshly grated Parmegiano Reggiano.
 
256 Glen Eira Rd, Elsternwick
 
Royal Stacks
 
Royal Stacks offer jam packed burgers fit for a king, or queen. They've got enough menu options to feed the whole royal family, the only problem will be trying to decide your order. The Royal Stacks crew say the Bacon Bacon burger is a crowd favourite, it comes with two Aussie beef patties, double bacon, American cheddar, caramelised onion, mustard, ketchup and pickles. We won't judge if you go back for seconds.
 
470 Collins Street, Melbourne
 
Sliders on Tyres
 
Sliders On Tyres are all about simple burgers and high quality ingredients, meaning their menu may not jump out amongst the sea of obscure creations, but the taste definitely stands out from the crowd. Their slider burgers come perfectly bite-sized, meaning you can shovel a few of them into your face with minimal judgement from bystanders. Try their Classic Beef Cheeseburger with a top-notch beef smash patty, cheddar, onion and dill pickle.
 
Can be found in various locations around Melbourne, head to their website for all the details.
 
The Rochester Hotel
 
The Rochester Hotel are another venue steering clear of the burger craze and instead opt to deliver some classic favourites crafted with top-notch ingredients. The menu boasts a vegan burger that will knock your socks off, even if you do wholeheartedly believe that it's not a real burger without a dose of meat and cheese. The polenta and mushroom patty, green hummus, slaw and vegan cheese is one of the venue's best, according to the brains behind the operation. Go on, give it a chance.
 
202 Johnston Street, Fitzroy
 
Burgerlove
 
Not only do Burgerlove boast an artery-clogging menu full of insane options, such as their Nutella cheeseburger, but they also offer a build your own option that allows you to come up with your own creations. If you want to play it safe, give their Meataxe a try, the aptly named burger comes with a beef patty, crispy southern style fried chicken and bacon topped with double American cheddar, onion straws, two jalapeno poppers, lettuce, housemade chipotle and XXX BBQ sauce.
 
11a/60 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda
 
Demazzi Stone
 
Demazzi Stone know how to craft a good burger that will have you super satisfied, but they also know how to go above and beyond. They're willing to customize their burgers to suit your taste, so much so that one of their staple items is something a customer created. However, the genius behind the Philly Cheese Steak burger with pickles, kale slaw and double cheddar on brioche was all the work of Demazzi Stone.
 
1142 Mt Alexander Rd, Essendon
 
Gorilla Grill
 
Gorilla Grill offer a unique blend of American and Asian influenced burgers, resulting in some seriously mouthwatering menu options. Try their chicken & waffle burger combining fried chicken, cheese, bacon, spicy mayo and maple syrup for something that sounds kinda wrong but tastes so right. Dessert won’t a necessity after consuming this bad boy.
 
36 Edgewater Boulevard, Maribyrnong
 
Tramway Hotel
 
The Tramway Hotel has been around since the 1870s but they've kept their menu fresh and up to date, ensuring they weren't left behind when the burger craze train left the station. Not only do they offer an extensive range of burgers, but all of their burgers can be made vegan or vegetarian, even their bacon and cheese burger.
 
165 Rae Street, Fitzroy North
 
Highlander Bar
 
As the name would suggest, Highlander Bar offer Scottish inspired menu options. If a haggis burger isn't up your alley but you still want to test out some authentic Scottish grub, give their Braveheart a go. It's made up of black pudding, fried egg, bacon, leaves and sliced tomato with HP mayo on a brioche bun.
 
11A Highlander Ln, Melbourne
 
Straight Six
 
Just a stone's throw from The Flemington Racecourse, Straight Six offer burgers named after past Melbourne Cup winners. Try the Makybe Diva, with a Southern fried chicken patty, American cheddar, cabbage slaw, chipotle aioli and smokey BBQ sauce. You can bet your bottom dollar that it's as much of a winner as its name suggests.
 
336 Racecourse Road, Flemington
 
Cool Bean Kitchen
 
Cool Bean Kitchen recently underwent some renovations to accommodate for their growing crowd, which should tell you something about the quality of their burgers. At the top of the list, they've got a breakfast burger that'll cure the dirtiest of hangovers, crammed full of crispy bacon, a beef patty, cheddar cheese, golden hash browns, grilled onions, fried egg, grilled juicy tomato and sautéed mushrooms, topped with ketchup and garlic aioli.
 
1/614-616 South Rd, Moorabbin
 
Dagger Moon Kitchen at The Tote
 
Situated within the sacred walls of The Tote, you can pretty much guarantee you'll have knocked back at least a few beers by the time you order. Knowing this, the crew have made it simple by narrowing the options down to three delicious choices. You can't really go wrong, but if you order the Jerk Chicken Burger with chicken thigh marinated in spicy Jamaican jerk and topped with pineapple salsa and red onion, at least you'll have a good excuse to wash it down with another pint.
 
67-71 Johnston Street, Collingwood
 
Masters of Burgerology
 
Masters of Burgerology is a family owned business that takes inspiration from 50's and 60's American diners. They've definitely got making burgers down to a science, with a slew of delectable classics on the menu. Give their Buns N' Burner a run, it comes topped with double beef, lettuce, tomato, cheese, grilled jalapenos, onions and spicy mayo on a charcoal bun.
 
Shop 3, 800 Swanston Street, Carlton
 
Sonny's Fried Chicken & Burgers at the John Curtin Hotel
 
Sonny's Fried Chicken & Burgers is like KFC's older, hotter and more successful sister. Sonny's boasts fresh ingredients and perfectly crafted burgers that will have you bypassing your nearest Kentucky Fried drive-thru next time your stomach grumbles and you hit the road on the quest for a chicken burger. Their most popular creation is the Sonny's Burger, chock full of spicy deep fried chicken, zesty slaw and mayo.
 
29 Lygon Street, Carlton
 
The Post Office Hotel
 
The Post Office Hotel have some pretty strong views when it comes to burgers and since they are the masters, you'd best adhere. Leave the pickles on and don't even think about touching your knife and fork – getting your hands dirty is what it's all about. You can guarantee you're going to need a pretty sturdy napkin after ripping into their Coburger, topped with a beef patty, cheese, bacon, tomato, onion, pickle, lettuce, mustard and POH sauce.
 
229-231 Sydney Road, Coburg
 
Fat Jaks
 
Fat Jaks opened their doors less than a month ago, but word has already spread and more and more people seem to be flocking to get a taste. Give their Risk It For The Brisket a go, it's got 16 hour slow braised brisket, smoked BBQ sauce, cheese and pickles topped with Fat Jaks slaw. One bite and you'll never look at your nanna's Sunday brisket dinner the same way again.
 
205 Barkly Street, St Kilda
 
Three One 2 One
 
Three One 2 One are pretty serious about their burgers, and once you see the size of their creations you'll understand. Their most famous creation is the Kick Ass Mac ’n' Cheese burger which is decked out with a beef patty, double cheese, bacon lettuce, tomato, jalapenos, mac 'n' cheese sauce and ketchup on a brioche bun.
 
424 Bridge Road, Richmond
 
Burger Boys
 
You won't find anything too extreme at Burger Boys, their focus is creating fresh ingredients and building simple yet delicious burgers. Give their Long Haul a go, it's packed full of slow roasted, pulled and charred pork shoulder with apple and fennel slaw, smothered in BBQ sauce. The perfect pig out treat.
 
100 Lygon Street, Brunswick East
 
Flame 400 Cafe & Burgers
 
Flame 400 was born after a McDonald’s manager and a handful of team members flew the coup to start making the real deal. The restaurant now has customers driving for hours to get their hands on one of their burgers, rather than just being a pit stop along the way. Try their Sebastian Burger with deep fried soft shell crab, coleslaw and special sauce.
 
25 Main Street, Greensborough
 
The Beaufort
 
Don't expect any brioche buns or dessert/burger fusions here, the brains trust at The Beaufort have some strong views against sugary burgers. What they do believe in is making masterfully crafted burgers that cost what a burger should. Head there on a Tuesday for their weekly Burgerpalooza, which sees guest chefs from the best restaurants getting behind the grill and whipping up a unique creation for that night only. Plus there are $12 tinnie and burger deals that night for students. It's a win-win.
 
421 Rathdowne St, Carlton
 
Skipping Girl Take Away
 
Whilst the venue's name may involve the words 'take away', you can bet you won't be getting some service station, fry cook deal here. Don't take our word for it, try their Blue Moon burger jammed with two wagyu beef patties, blue and cheddar cheese, lettuce, onion, pickles and skipping girl sauce. All the more reason not to cook tonight.
 
70 William St, Abbotsford
 
Burger Inc.
 
Burger Inc. have surely gotten amongst the burger craze but instead of opting for bigger and crazier creations, they've decided to go another direction. They've opted to go a bit more gourmet, offering fresh goodies like brie cheese and roasted capsicum. Plus, they have nine variations of cheeseburgers on the menu, offering everything from a blue cheese cheeseburger to a cheeseburger with roast capsicum, sundried tomato, pesto, aioli, relish and salad.
 
1/328 Pakington Street, Newtown in Geelong
 
JD's Burgers
 
JD's Burgers offer Asian-American fusions smothered in their secret fusion sauces. Try Goku's Spirit Bomb, it sees the buns being replaced by two fried chicken schnitzels, packed full of bacon, American cheese, Japanese mayonnaise and JD's secret sauces. You can guarantee an epic food coma after demolishing this bad boy.
 
17 Hamilton St, Mont Albert
 
Mr Burger
 
Mr Burger don't subscribe to the notion that bigger is always better, they aim to fill you up with wholesome ingredients that all serve a purpose between those buns. Try the Mr Burger full of freshly ground meat, cheese, pickles, the perfect amount of leaves and sauces. Simple yet effective.
 
320 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy