Fast 5
Subscribe
X

Get the latest from Beat

Fast 5

fastandfurious5.png

It’s hard to say exactly what happens in the film, but here’s my best attempt at a summary of the plot: Paul Walker (Paul Walker) and Pregnant Girlfriend (Jordana Brewster) take down a bus for some reason – utilising their expert driving of suped up cars. I learnt after the film that this was to help Vin Diesel (Vin Diesel) escape from jail, and as fugitives, the three flee to Rio de Janiero. Once there, they steal some cars from a train and then decide that they hate the local crime boss (Joaquim de Almeida) for no reason at all. They decide to rob the poor guy for every cent he has, perhaps because they found a mysterious “chip” which seems important to the plot but isn’t. They assemble a team comprised of Ludacris, several stereotypes from different racial minorities, and a hottie with a weird accent (Gal Gadot). The film then forgets about cars for a while and goes into Ocean’s 11 mode as they plan the overly elaborate heist. Then a seemingly random set of action sequences and car chases occur until the movie ends. All to the tune of an overwhelmingly epic soundtrack. Also there are hotties, shoot outs, gangsters, hotties, street races, explosions and hotties along the way.

The Rock is superb as The Rock, an outrageously macho FBI agent sent to Rio to bring Vin Diesel and crew to justice. American style. But – spoiler alert – he changes his mind and starts helping the Fast Five crew in their murderous rampage against the innocent crime boss (by the end you really start feeling sorry for the guy). Rock and Diesel share an epic battle at one point, but at no point is it decided who has the bigger biceps.

The collateral damage in the final chase scene is intensely awesome. Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are in impossibly powerful cars hauling behind them a five ton, 4 meter cubed metal safe through the streets of Rio, fastly and furiously. With every corner they turn the safe swings out and pulverizes shops, cars, pedestrians, families, old people and babies. Probably. They also manage to take out about thirty or so cop cars in wrecks that nobody could walk out of alive. Those cops sure won’t be going home to their families. It’s fucking awesome.

The script is hilarious, and Vin Diesel has the uncanny ability to make you laugh with perfectly timed one liners using the few words in his vocabulary. It was refreshing to see a non-stop riot of laughs after such serious films such as Russell Brand’s Arthur.

Fast Five is a non-stop, full throttle rollercoaster ride that just doesn’t quit. At no point will you know what the hell is going on, but at no point should you care. The only thing that matters is the two hours of outrageous stunts with no regard to realism or the laws of physics that this film offers. Two thumbs up. I only wish it was in 3D.