Welcome To Optimistic Norris
Is it just me, or are films steadily getting worse? In the past few months we’ve had shockers such as Just Go With It, Gnomeo and Juliet, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (sorry, when did he have a chance to say never? “Look, Mum, if I’m not a superstar by thirteen and half, I’m calling it a day”), Sex And The City 2 and Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son.
Inevitably, with these terrible films come terrible reviews. I for one am sick of having to read such negativity on a daily basis, and if there’s one thing optimistic Norris hates (which there isn’t), it’s negativity. It’s about time someone stood up for these poor, plot-less, predictable films. And that person is going to be me.
Watch this space for upcoming five star reviews of the worst, trashiest films that Beat is willing to give me free tickets for. So it’s time for me to say goodbye to Nova, make friends with Hoytes, buy my own set of 3D glasses and start seeing the bright side of everything mainstream Hollywood can throw at me. Unless it’s based on a comic book, stars Nicholas Cage, or has anything to do with Jennifer Aniston, I’m not interested. Because when you think about it, a lot of people wasted a lot of time and money making these films – the least we can do is waste a small amount of time and money watching them.
So to get the ball rolling I’ve been sent to three of the worst films to come out this week; Thor, Arthur and Fast And The Furious 5. Sigh. Here goes.