Michael Connell: Haiku

 

Haikus

 

You have to say heaps,

 

In just a few syllables

 

They’re ancient twitter

 

 

 

Station

 

Where are they going?

 

Is there a train to sad town?

 

Flinders Street Emos

 

 

 

Mystery

 

Bad acting, lame jokes

 

Why are you so popular?

 

Two and a half Men

 

 

 

Consideration

 

Oh no, I don’t mind

 

Ram those wheels into my shins

 

Bike on peak hour train

 

 

 

Harry Potter

 

Put “Green Eggs and Ham”

 

In a dark “adult” cover

 

It’s still a kid’s book.

 

 

 

Egg Flip Big M

 

Milk that tastes like eggs!

 

What a fantastic idea

 

Now make steak icecream…

 

 

 

Business

 

Copyright infringed

 

Colonel Sanders will kill you

 

Utah Fried Chicken

 

 

 

Home

 

It’s totally cool

 

To drink goon in the main street

 

I love you Croydon

 

 

 

Bogan

 

He bumped into me

 

But he had a neck tattoo

 

So I said sorry

 

 

 

Bogan Lady

 

Peroxide blonde hair

 

Loudly drinking and swearing

 

You’ll make a great mum

 

 

 

Angry

 

You wouldn’t like GWAR

 

If your mum hugged you more

 

Heavy Metal fan

 

 

 

Human Nature

 

The dark side of man

 

In the form of deep fried snacks

 

Lord Of The Fries Chips

 

 

 

Delusion

 

You’re not an artist

 

You’re just choosing songs to play

 

DJs are wankers.

 

 

 

Loneliness

 

You’re like my Mum’s house

 

I go past but never stop

 

East Richmond Station

 

 

 

Waste Tears

 

Why do I buy this?

 

My water in a bottle

 

You are free at home

 

 

 

Tears

 

Girl with Levis

 

Sorry, you’re not a size eight

 

You’ve got muffin top

 

 

 

Gremlins

 

Don’t let them get wet

 

Don’t feed them after midnight

 

They’re just like kids

 

 

 

Annoyance

 

Writing a letter?

 

You look like you could use help

 

Windows paperclip.

 

 

 

Distraction 

 

I can’t stop looking

 

Please fix the gap in your teeth

 

Seafolly Model

 

 

 

Pulitzer

News pulled from Twitter

 

Could you be any slacker?

 

MX newspaper