Bridesmaids

1 Comments. 1,801 Views. Posted 21 Jun 2011 @ 4:03pm.
My past few attempts at finding a suitably shit film to review for Optimistic Norris have been wrought with disappointment. X-Men: First Class was pretty good, Super 8 rocked, and three out of the four films I've managed to review so far weren't really bad at all. My reviews weren't even very funny or entertaining. All in all, one might say that I'm a pretty poor excuse for a column, and that I should stick to my day job (which doesn't exist) or perhaps consider a life of crime. So, disillusioned both by what I'm doing for Beat and life in general, and with heroin starting to become a... Read More!
arts › optimistic norris › arts optimistic norris column archives
Babies! column, optimistic norris, arts.
0 Comments. 994 Views. Posted 17 May 2011 @ 3:37pm.
Babies!!! I fucking love babies! Do love babies? Of course you fucking love babies! Everyone loves Babies. If you don’t love babies you’re a fuck. A heartless fuck and you deserve to die. Fuck you, anyone who doesn’t like babies.   Sorry about that, I get a little funny when I think of babies. I mean, they do so many silly things such as make crazy facial expressions, fall over, poo and cry... Read More
Fast 5 column, optimistic norris, arts.
0 Comments. 1,545 Views. Posted 3 May 2011 @ 4:44pm.
Wow! This movie is awesome! It’s so damn fast! And… kind of furious… I guess. Fast Five, the fifth instalment of the The Fast & The Furious franchise, is perhaps the most entertaining film ever made. Imagine collecting all the actors, action sequences, and explosions from the last four films, removing all character development and storyline, and adding The Rock. Who battles Vin Diesel. Now... Read More
Arthur column, optimistic norris, arts.
0 Comments. 868 Views. Posted 2 May 2011 @ 4:36pm.
Hurray! Another re-make of a cult classic. Just what this world needs. This time it’s the 1981 Dudley Moore hit, Arthur, which has been re-booted by the guy who tried to do the American version of Kath and Kim, with equally successful results. Replacing the legendary, actually drunk Dudley Moore is Russell Brand, who seems to be inescapable these days, so if I were you, I’d just start liking him... Read More
Thor column, optimistic norris, arts.
0 Comments. 1,380 Views. Posted 20 Apr 2011 @ 2:19pm.
Favourite Quote: “By the hammer of Thor!” Okay, nobody actually said that but they really should have. Which is probably the only criticism I can think of in an otherwise flawless cinematic experience. This week, Kenneth Branagh (the Shakespeare guy?) brings us Thor, the latest Marvel instalment leading up the 2012 Avengers film. Starring Chris Hemsworth (… who?) as everyone’s favourite Viking... Read More
Welcome To Optimistic Norris column, optimistic norris, arts.
0 Comments. 789 Views. Posted 20 Apr 2011 @ 1:54pm.
Is it just me, or are films steadily getting worse? In the past few months we’ve had shockers such as Just Go With It, Gnomeo and Juliet, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (sorry, when did he have a chance to say never? “Look, Mum, if I’m not a superstar by thirteen and half, I’m calling it a day”), Sex And The City 2 and Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son.     Inevitably, with these... Read More