Comics In The Doghouse – The Bedroom Philosopher

0 Comments. 954 Views. Posted 18 Aug 2011 @ 10:29am.
Welcome To Depression: population one   The weathers always crap   and the nightlife ain't much fun   The birds are all well trained   at pooing on your head   There's a black dog that follows you   and tries to hump your leg   There's only one shop and it's shut most of the day   it's got a range of tracksuits in twenty shades of grey   They've got carob and canned stew   some kind of beef tea   A fishing magazine   from 2003   There's wine at least   and coffee   sometimes cigarettes   But when you party by... Read More!
arts › comics in the doghouse › arts CIDH archives
Lachlan Ryan : Who's Hipper? CIDH, arts.
1 Comments. 1,621 Views. Posted 16 Jun 2011 @ 12:23pm.
The movement of the moment is that of The Hipster. Not just a generic term for a style of jeans, women's underwear or someone that is cool, a Hipster is the defining subculture of these times. Every generation can be defined by iconic subcultures; think the '70s and Disco kids and Punks, '80s with Hair Metalists and Nu Wavers, the '90s with Grunge and Gangstas and the early '00's offering of Emo... Read More
Matt Elsbury : It's All About You CIDH, arts.
1 Comments. 1,258 Views. Posted 7 Jun 2011 @ 11:43am.
With some heavyweight discussions flying around the news, particularly around climate change and the carbon tax (my view? Not believing in climate change is like walking out onto a freeway not believing in traffic... in so many ways), I thought I'd take a look at a couple of lighter, less substantial areas of communication – and how much they piss me off. Advertisers have always torn at the... Read More
Liam Ryan : Get Fit Quick CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 2,867 Views. Posted 31 May 2011 @ 11:12am.
What follows is the diary of my get-fit-quick plan, which combined most of the health and diet regimens ever conceived into one intensive workout schedule. My colleague Keith, a fitness fanatic, authored the program and insisted it be followed to the letter. DAY 1:   I wake at 6am. To make a start on the ambitious daily targets for hydration and fruit and veg intake I knock back a lazy five... Read More
Dayne Rathbone: (sic) CIDH, arts.
1 Comments. 2,699 Views. Posted 25 May 2011 @ 5:34pm.
Dear Amelia,   Thanks you for letting me write for an essay for Beat magazine. I usually just like writing songs all the time, but its basically exactly the same but without any music effects.   My friend Brian is really good at English. He wrote and essay and Mrs Ross said that she was really impressed because he used the word putrid in the essay and he got a B+ (which was an... Read More
Dave Callan : Superstition CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,532 Views. Posted 17 May 2011 @ 6:31pm.
When I was a kid I had warts on my hands. My old Irish Grandmother told me to count them, put a smooth pebble for each one in a brown paper bag and leave it outside the front door of a public building like a hospital or Library. So I did. They were gone in a week. What was this? Old Celtic witchcraft? Psychosomatic power of suggestion? I don't know. But it happened. I thought about it on the... Read More
Karl Chandler: Some Upcoming Films CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 918 Views. Posted 10 May 2011 @ 11:12am.
2011 is set to be another big, big year for movies, and I’m here to be your guide through all the new blockbuster releases. Get out your credit card, grab a small popcorn and settle in! Hot on the heels of the four successful Pirates Of The Caribbean movies comes another film licensed from the rides of the Disneyland amusement park. Matthew McConaughey stars in The Teacup Ride, due out in... Read More
Simon Taylor : The Road None Travel CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,016 Views. Posted 5 May 2011 @ 11:12am.
I love cultural diversity. I love it so much that I eat lychee gelati just to get the taste of Asia and Italy in my mouth at the same time. Mmmmm… tastes like racial tolerance. With the relatively low cost of international travel, many of us get to dip into foreign worlds to experience their delicate foods, stunning landscapes and interesting lifestyles. Usually from behind the safety of our... Read More
Bogan Bingo: The Mayans CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,377 Views. Posted 28 Apr 2011 @ 10:40am.
I booked the Bogan Bingo bus in for a service last week and I noticed the mechanic had a funny accent. He said he was a Mayan. Hmm, fair enough. Looking at his calendar above the beer fridge I noticed two things. Firstly, topless Mayan chicks are quite hot and secondly, there was a full set of dates for 2012! Now someone who makes a living out of being a bogan, needs not know too much about... Read More
Felicity Ward: Dear Reputable Music Magazine Editor CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,495 Views. Posted 19 Apr 2011 @ 12:05pm.
Dear Reputable Music Magazine Editor, There’s a serious, unaddressed problem within the music industry. I’m talking about music that makes me want to have sex with you. There are some songs and some bands that make me want to grab a man by the collar, push him and his pelvis against a wall, and plant one on him. Then, say nothing, drop my business card at his feet & mouth the words “you... Read More
Michael Connell: Haiku CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 884 Views. Posted 18 Apr 2011 @ 11:25am.
Haiku are ancient Japanese three line poems. The first and last lines are five syllables long, and the second line seven. Traditionally written by Samurais about nature, here’s some about more modern subjects.   Haikus   You have to say heaps,   In just a few syllables   They’re ancient twitter       Station   Where are they going?   Is there a train... Read More
Adam Rozenbachs: Anti-hero CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,615 Views. Posted 6 Apr 2011 @ 4:06pm.
3am is not a good time to wake up. I don’t bake goods for a living, nor do I ever want to take to the water for a morning’s fishing. I’m a comedian; that time of the morning is reserved for hastily called conferences to find out which bars are still open. The reason I recently woke at this time was because my smoke alarm went off. For no apparent reason. I haven’t slept since. And it was January... Read More
The Bedroom Philosopher: Comedy Festival CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,806 Views. Posted 23 Mar 2011 @ 2:08pm.
Hey I'm just gonna pop down and get this year's Comedy Festival show, do you want anything? Me: Hey I'm just gonna pop down and get this year's Comedy Festival show, do you want anything? Audience: Jokes. Me: Anything else? Audience: Nah that's all. Me: Don't want a storyline or anything? Audience: Um. No. Oh…maybe. Me: Just a little one? Audience: Well, not necessarily, maybe just like,... Read More
Scott Steensma: WA CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 2,139 Views. Posted 18 Mar 2011 @ 11:25am.
Read the business section, check out the job ads, and one thing seems clear - the recession is over and Western Australia is heading back to the top of Australia's economic heap. Read the business section, check out the job ads, and one thing seems clear - the recession is over and Western Australia is heading back to the top of Australia's economic heap.   Lured by promises of $120,000... Read More
Bobby: Internet Dating CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 2,112 Views. Posted 10 Mar 2011 @ 11:05am.
So you're not a size 10, you don't have perky breasts and apparently your profile photo was taken ten years ago; this was the exact reason I didn't want to do this shit in the first place… My friend encouraged me to sign up for internet dating about a year and a half ago; RSVP, eHarmony, all the usuals. I completed each of my profiles after going back and forth as I tried to describe what type of... Read More
Lach Ryan: Black Swan CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,736 Views. Posted 2 Mar 2011 @ 12:45am.
There is nothing like the loose, relaxed feeling that surges through your body after spending some time touching "Down There". The movie of the moment is Black Swan. It features a few scenes where leading lady Natalie Portman is seen to be touching herself. Obviously, such a physical act can be quite confronting when blown up on the big screen. But what's the big deal? There is no better way to... Read More
Halley Metcalfe: Hickeys CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 1,000 Views. Posted 23 Feb 2011 @ 5:49pm.
How gross are hickeys? How gross are hickeys? Yes, ladies and gentleman, I’m 25 and have a hickey on my neck. I neither asked for or endorsed said hickey, and I am most mortified that it has presented itself upon my person. I thought these days were far behind me, but here I am; a variety of concealers and powders in hand, attempting to cover the bastard up for fear of passersby’s thinking I’m a... Read More
Simon Taylor: Sneaky Individuals CIDH, arts.
16 Comments. 2,576 Views. Posted 15 Feb 2011 @ 1:37pm.
I'm so Generation Y. I'm so Gen Y that how long my happiness lasts is directly linked to my iPhone battery. I'm so Generation Y. I'm so Gen Y that how long my happiness lasts is directly linked to my iPhone battery.   Despite the disdain of some, I choose to celebrate the idiosyncrasies of my generation as a natural progression of cultural change. My favourite of which is our... Read More
Karl Chandler: Hollywood Gossip CIDH, arts.
0 Comments. 2,025 Views. Posted 10 Feb 2011 @ 10:57am.
Hi there! It's Karl Chandler here with all the latest gossip from Hollywood, the place where dreams are made (if you dream about Short Circuit 2). Hi there! It's Karl Chandler here with all the latest gossip from Hollywood, the place where dreams are made (if you dream about Short Circuit 2).   • Which musical recording artist is angry because of Glee's refusal to have them guest-star? I... Read More