The Guilt Trip

Starring Seth Rogen without his usual co-star, the bong, and for some reason Barbra Streisand, The Guilt Trip is a vapid comedy that appeals to old Jewish mothers who enjoy being...
nick taras
Catholic Church: Reviewed Posted 21 Jun 2012 @ 2:58pm 3,398 views 2 comments Before reading, if you’re not a Catholic, here’s a very quick rundown of the history of the Catholic Church: key players – Jesus, the Pope, Mel Gibson; key moments – the birth and resurrection of Jesus (4 A.D. – 34 A.D.), the pissing on science (110 A.D. – current), Jesus Christ Superstar (1971). There is seemingly a lack of criticism on the quality of churches. This is quite bizarre,...
The Voice Reviewed Posted 8 Jun 2012 @ 10:59am 5,475 views 1 comment This was the second episode of The Voice I had seen, and I’ve been privileged enough to witness the show blossom from a complete turd into a half turd, half mutated carrot. If you haven’t seen the show, it’s basically a competition to find who can sing really well without having been tested on any musical or songwriting ability whatsoever. Apparently, participants are judged according...
One Direction @ Hisense Arena Posted 1 May 2012 @ 12:37pm 89,655 views 12 comments   For those unaware, One Direction are a teenage British boy band who are just the right combination of good looks and shitty pop music to seduce the hearts of young girls worldwide, and just young enough for Kony to kidnap. They released an album called Up All Night (which has dominated charts worldwide) and got away with it because of their young, clean image. It was considered “cute” and...
Channel Ten News: Reviewed Posted 9 Aug 2011 @ 5:06pm 13,954 views 9 comments   Ten News was the hipster of Australian news programming. It refused to broadcast at the mainstream 6pm timeslot and proudly claimed to be “First At Five”. However, 7 News, previously the jock of the Australian TV news world, started listening to the same kinds of music as Ten News and decided to become indie too, moving to the 4.30pm timeslot. Ten News was overcome with fury and now...
7th Heaven Sucks Posted 9 Jun 2011 @ 12:19pm 13,715 views 8 comments Nick Taras lost a bet to his Danish friend, who is an avid fan of 7th Heaven, and a major bitch. His punishment was to review the pilot episode of the show. This is the result of his gamble. The very first scene in this “family” show is the father waking up with an erection. I should mention that this erection is never directly shown, but it’s most certainly implied. Erections probably aren’t a...
Fast 5 Posted 19 May 2011 @ 5:34pm 11,728 views 1 comment Firstly, I’ll admit that I could not remain impartial to review this film. From my entrance into the cinema, I was overcome with nervousness due to my lack of Kappa attire, and my inability to employ the phrase “oh my goddddddd” in every sentence. I did not fit in with this audience. Luckily for me, though, I got to watch The motherfuckin’ Rock act for two hours. For those of you who don’t know...
Thor Posted 20 Apr 2011 @ 12:02pm 2,851 views 2 comments When Thor was first announced, it became immediately obvious that we had run out of superhero comics to transform into movies. Which obscure superhero would be next? Would it be Lady Gaga-Man? The Diplomatic Dishman? Perhaps Al Gore would get a run? As it turns out, Thor’s superpowers, built around his hammer, are actually pretty fucking badass. Hammer Time. Thor’s hammer combines all the...
Hall Pass Posted 7 Apr 2011 @ 12:25pm 3,175 views 0 comments What would you do if your wife freed you from the stale shackles of marriage and allowed you to do whatever you wanted for one whole week? This is the premise for the Farrelly Brothers’ Hall Pass. The concept is mischievous and oozes opportunity for brainless humour to thrive. The Farrelly Brothers grasped this opportunity and made an immature dick-sandwich that could only be digested by those...
Red Riding Hood Posted 7 Apr 2011 @ 11:46am 3,147 views 0 comments Contrary to popular belief, Red Riding Hood was not based on the classic fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood. Judging by the acting alone, it becomes quite obvious within fifteen minutes of the film that it was actually based on Little Red Riding Hood And Snow White In A Wild Dwarf Gangbang, a classic porno, filled with spoof (pronounced sp-ewf), in which the actors...
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never Posted 7 Apr 2011 @ 11:40am 4,681 views 2 comments Watching a movie about Justin Bieber is a lot like having sex with a fat yet confusingly attractive prostitute. You don’t want anyone to know you did it, and in the morning all the cheese in the fridge will be missing, but it won’t cost you much and somehow you’ll enjoy it. And it’s in 3D. However, all it took was one scene, a close-up of Justin Bieber swaying her glistening hair in slow motion,...